Then the high blood pressure started. Feet started to swell. This was NOT part of the normal pregnancy thing all first time mothers were expecting. Preeclampsia/Toxemia wasn't supposed to happen to her!
911 called, Ambulance arrived and mom and unborn baby were taken to Hutzel Hospital with Dad on his way from work.
An emergency C-Section and a tiny 2lb baby born at just 26.5 weeks gestation! It's a boy! A tiny, helpless little baby boy who is struggling to breathe because his lungs haven't fully developed. The side of his little face was sunken in because he just wasn't ready!
He was too early. He was too small. He was so small he fit inside his daddy's baseball cap. Mom and Dad weren't ready. The baby shower hadn't happened yet. Nothing was ready for his arrival!
It was only September, he wasn't supposed to be here until late December/beginning of January.
Panic started to set in. Question of doubt worked their way in to the parents mind. "Would our baby survive?"
The next 3 months his daddy slept next to his incubator while going back and forth from work to the hospital. The oxygen flowed at 100%. The influx of doctors and nurses would make anyone's head spin.
As this new family of three prepared to go home they had to make arrangements for the oxygen tank and nasal canuulas to go with them. Family and friends were finally able to see this precious gift, this new born baby that was still so small.
His dark features took your breath away. His crooked pinkie linked him to his father forever.
Fast forward a few years and this same helpless little baby is now a six year old boy in the first grade. He is immature for his age. He is picked on for now having two moms that lived together in the same house. He was struggling with reading, writing and arithmetic.
Dad was able to see him every other weekend when the boys mom allowed it. Sadly, he was a pawn to her at times. Dad had contact with the school and he and the boys mom decided it was best to hold him back a year because we wasn't emotionally ready for the 2nd grade.
A year and a half later this boy tells his cousin that his mom has needles and pointed out her bag. this boy and the bag were taken to the police station where they were told they couldn't do anything because it wasn't found in his mom's possession.
Yes, that actually happened.
That same day the boys dad receives a phone call from the cousin, Rachel. Rachel tells him all about what has transpired. Immediately action is taken by dad.
A lawyer is hired. An immediate order of removal is made by the Lenawee judge to remove this boy from his home. He moves to Adrian in with his dad and step mom.
He is enrolled in school, supplies and clothing purchased.
One week later he was put back in the home because of a judge in Detroit that had an ego!
Skip ahead to a few months later and there is a court hearing. A "voluntary" urine sample was presented to the judge by the mom, and she passed! Mind you, this wasn't an ordered drug test, it was voluntary. I smell a rat!
Several court hearings later and this boy still lives with his mother and her girlfriend. Drugs are still being pumped in to her system.
How dare anyone accuse her? I mean, everyone wears turtle neck sweaters to court in the middle of July!
8 months later at the age of 8, this same little boy is crying at his mom's funeral. As she lay there in the casket he can't comprehend what has happened. He knows that is his mom has died, but he doesn't understand why or how. His grandmother tells him she had a bad heart and she went to sleep and never woke up.
Night terrors begin. Sleepless night. Waking up screaming and crying. It became his new normal.
The death certificate becomes available. Accidental Heroin Overdose as the cause of death.
Anger sets in. How could she be so selfish? And the judge...how did she NOT see what everyone else did?
Two months later this little boy experiences death again. This time is was the death of his unborn twin brothers. Death has become normal to him.
As the days and months passed by more and more was revealed as to how much he really knew about his moms habits and activities. As he shared with his parents what he saw, in detail, they couldn't help but cry and hold him tighter.
Counseling twice a month! What a difference it made.
"I think people are lying to me, do you know how my mom really died?" This question was asked to his step-mom and she didn't know how to answer him. She says yes, that she did know but she thought it was a question his dad should answer.
A 45 second warning to his father about what he was going to ask...then he asked his dad. His dad was honest with him and he showed him the death certificate. At the age of 9 he was so mature in some ways, and not at all in others.
Tears streamed down his face. He was sad. He was angry. He was hurt that his grandparents had been lying to him.
He called his grandparents out....and they continued to lie to him.
Today, this little boy is not so little. He is 14, going on 30. He stands tall at 5'5". He wears a size 9.5 shoe. He shows everyone who will let him his six pack.
He is athletic and he is good at it. He is smart, although his grades don't reflect it.
He is hyper at times. He is impulsive. He is sarcastic (it comes naturally to him).
He is tender. He is kind. He is the most loving big brother a little princess could ask for.
He is Shane and I couldn't be prouder of the young man he is becoming.
I share Shane's life with you because I want it to give you hope for the days that lie ahead. You may be struggling today thinking that you've screwed up or that life has been unfair.
The odds were stacked against Shane from day one! From the first breath he took he had to fight to become the young man he is today. He came out with fists flying and he has refused to give up.
Shane has a lot to be pissed off about, so much he could be angry about.
Instead, Shane chooses to be an energetic, loving, mischievous boy who loves others.
So thankful I get to be his mom!
