Exclusion isn't Just Another Word!

For so many of you the word exclusion doesn’t hold much weight. It is just a word. 

To me and so many others it is a word that instantly brings you to tears, anger, distrust, empathy, or all of the above. It is a word that we are battling every single day.

Exclusion: the act of shutting or keeping out :  the state of being shut or kept out

There are times when exclusion is intentional and then there are these times that creep up on you that are completely unintentional. And you are beside yourself. You are at a loss for words. Your feelings pour out of your eyes and drip off of your face until you see a puddle of emotions form on your desk. 

Today, this happened to Sophie. It wasn’t intentional but nonetheless, it left me broken. My heart is in pieces all because my daughter was at the mercy of someone else.

Sophie was supposed to go swimming with her class today. She was going to wear her adorable pink flamingo swimsuit with an orange beak coming off of her left shoulder. She was going to try out a new flotation device specifically designed for kids like Sophie who don’t know that they can’t just put their head in the water. She was going to make memories with her classmates and friends. She was going to laugh so hard today that she would feel it in her soul. Sophie was going to do all of this today until one of her teacher aids called in sick. Because of Sophie needing extra help with everything she does Sophie has to stay behind.

When I read this text this morning a flood of emotion hit me. I instantly started crying. Where was all of this coming from? I was mad at her teacher for talking me in to letting Sophie go for the past 3 days and then taking it all away from her. I was mad at the teachers aid for getting sick. But I still love her teacher! I was sad because Sophie was unintentionally being left out. I was heartbroken that Sophie can’t do things that other kids do because of how God made her.

Then the tears came. A lot of them. I couldn’t stop them. I know that it is in Sophie’s best interest for her safety to stay behind. I know that this is a decision they had to make and that it is the right decision. Just because it is right doesn’t make it any easier for me to swallow.

This is the first time that Sophie has been kept from doing things that other kids are doing. She has always been on the other field trips. She has always eaten the same snacks. She has always been on the same playground at school. Until today!

Today is different. Today will leave me wounded. Today is a reminder that this is just the beginning of so many things that Sophie won’t be able to do because she’s left at the mercy of someone else to help her. Today my heart needs a band-aid. Today is a reminder of what we are fighting so hard for.

I have been asked so many times why I am trying to raise the funds to build a Boundless Playground. This people. This right here is why. With everything that our children will be left out of, their right to play shouldn’t be one of them. We all want the same things for our children. We want them to be involved, wanted and included. We want them to have the opportunity to do the same things, make the same memories and live the same type of life. You wouldn't settle for anything less, why should we? We fight for inclusion because anything less is unacceptable. 

My tears are gone. My heart is still heavy. My love for Sophie’s teacher remains. My spirit is broken!

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

I was reading a blog post earlier this morning and while I was reading it this sentence jumped out at me..

"We know different is more than ok, it is wonderful!" 

I struggle with that a little bit because although different is wonderful, it is also hard and ugly and not so wonderful at times and I feel it should be acknowledged and talked about.

I get it! We all want to read and hear about how grand life is. How are children are our everything and how much everything they do is just wonderful! We want to share on social media, through blogs, at church, and in our women's monthly meetings that our children are excelling at everything they do. They are right on target with development, and everything is...better than ever!

Reality check:

We are a culture who seeks pleasure and avoids pain
We want instant gratification
We don't want to hear the hard stuff, the true stuff
We would rather be lied to than spoon fed the truth

My point is this....

Yes, Sophie is a huge blessing. Yes, I believe Sophie is changing the world, one heart at a time. Yes, I see the world differently when I look at it through her eyes. Yes, I know that she was perfectly made in the image of God and who she is, is exactly who He wanted her to be.

BUT...and this is a big BUT....

I also know that Sophie being different can be hard. It can be ugly at times. It takes work. It is an emotional roller coaster. It can be stressful. I worry way more than I thought I ever would. I can't just enjoy the moments because I have to think about all the "what ifs" or the "what will her future look like?"

I believe that these are the real, raw emotions that we need to talk about. We need to embrace. If we can't talk about the hard stuff, how can we fully embrace the good stuff? If we can't be honest and share openly about the struggles raising a child with different abilities than others, how we will ever form true, genuine, lasting relationships and support systems?

Melt downs will happen, some more frequently than others.
.
Hospital stays are always just lingering in the not so distant future.

Thunderstorms will continue to happen and during those times, you just might have to hold your son in your arms reassuring him that he is going to be alright, hoping he is trusting you!

Never-ending crying episodes and heart break will continue to occur because my daughter can't tell me what hurts.

I appreciate this mother's perspective. I agree that we have a choice on what we choose to see, but I truly believe we have to recognize the hard, embrace the ugly and celebrate the good! If we can do that, we can do anything!

Caroline's Cart: Coming to a Store Near You!

1106 Days

or

3 Years, 10 days

That is how long it has been since I sent my very first email to the manager at Adrian Meijer about Caroline's Cart! I remember sitting down and delicately putting the words together to formulate the perfect email. Coming up with the subject line was the hardest part. From all of my formal education and on the job training I knew that the subject line is what prompted an individual to open the email. It had to be specific, it had to be concise, it had to be special. It was a long email introducing Tamera, the manager, to Caroline's Cart and to Sophie. It outlined in detail the specifics of the cart, what it would mean to have it and how so many people would benefit from it.

Then I shared my daughter with them. My beautiful Sophie. How she is amazing, and different, and how she is changing the world.

What I got in return was an email saying, "We will look in to it."

Are you kidding me, did they not know how much time and effort and thought went in to that email? I felt defeated.

The days and months that followed were filled with more emails, phone calls, FB posts on Meijer's wall, and people telling me to go buy the cart myself and stop trying to get someone else to get it for me. Little did they know we tried that! It's called INSURANCE LIABILITY!

You know what I got in return, Silence!

It didn't stop there. I kept talking to everyone I came in contact with about Caroline's Cart until it landed me a new name to reach out to. Ben Negron was the new name. He is an Adrian native and the current store manager in Ann Arbor. I called and spoke with him and he was elated. He made me believe we were going to make this happen together. We exchanged several emails and phone calls over the span of about a year. Then all of a sudden....Silence!

Thankfully a friend of mine who never stopped believing with me asked questions. Through one of her friends she was able to obtain the name of the VP of Retail Operations at Meijer. Janet Emerson! Once again I found myself sitting down to write the most perfect email. I shared it will all of you after I sent it. Her assistant responded right away telling me Janet would respond to be in October.

October came and Janet called.

Janet and I had a long, real, honest and raw conversation. I asked the questions I needed answered. She wasn't expecting some of them but it didn't phase her. I scheduled a follow up call with her for April, when the "cart committee" would meet again.

December rolled around and I send an email to Janet congratulating her on an award Meijer received. I wanted her to know I was paying attention.  She emailed me back and let me know that she was retiring and gave me the name of the person to contact. UGH! Defeat started to creep back in until I regained my composure.

I am so pleased to be able to sit here tonight and tell you that I received a call from Stephanie at Meijer and they have signed a contract with Technibuilt and Caroline's Cart as of March 14th. The very first store on the list....Adrian, MI!

I sobbed on the phone with Stephanie. Literally sobbed! I couldn't thank her enough. She apologized to me that it has taken 3 years to make this happen.

Every single NO I received was made right in that moment. It wasn't about my timing, it was about God's timing in our lives. It wasn't going to happen because I wanted it to, it happened because He wanted it to and I was His vessel! I am so thankful He put the desire in my heart to make me go after this because He knew He would succeed!

On top of that, Jonesville MI Walmart will also have a Caroline's Cart within a few weeks. I just received an email today telling me it was ordered. I have been in contact with the Adrian, MI Walmart as well and the manager there is Amatha Davison. She told me she would look in to ordering it. Everyone in Adrian, call her and ask! All they have to do is order it, It is already approved in their system!

My challenge to you is:

-Call every single Walmart manager in your area and ask for Caroline's Cart to be ordered. And keep asking,
-NEVER quit fighting for what you believe in. EVER. Don't take NO for an answer because it just takes one YES and that yes is right there waiting for you. It might not line up with God's timing, but it will happen!

Thank you all for fighting this fight with me. For standing in faith with me. For your prayers.

And all of this right before Sophie's 5th birthday.

Happy Birthday Sophie!